Dementia Resilence - 4.9.17.mp3

Friday, September 14th


Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

Welcome to dementia resilience we chill arrest sponsored by building heights alzheimer's special care center. A candid conversation as we learn about dementia alzheimer's and it's effects on the people we love. Jill has years of dedication and experience help you adapt to recover and overcome obstacles and help find a positive outcome it's time for dementia resilience with the Jill horrendous luck. Come tell our listeners on his beautiful day I'm so excited to have our response Serb Bellevue heights with us today Nikki keywords. Great and I think in light. Sneaky guards thank you tell him he. Oh well today we have a great show for all our listeners because we're gonna talk about. It's kind of continue Hubble last week when you finally figure out that. Maybe taking care of your loved one with alzheimer's or other types of dementia is a little bit too much. We need some additional help. But may in the steps in making those decisions are typical nine to Nikki so today I want you to helped our listeners with and windy is it time to consider memory care. Right and that's a question we get from just about everybody who works there art or is Nguyen is the right time or what it is the crystal ball gonna tell me today as far as yesterday is that I am making a move. And for everybody that looks very different. And so will start to ask questions. How is your dated may affected by taking care of your loved one which I dementia and that the folks that we're working winds are typically the adult children. Or the spouse. So again that's going to look very different is are you taking care of your adult. With dementia your parents or are they living in their home. And if you're the spouse or use the primary caregiver or do you have some additional help coming into the house. To help you so you can get away. And it's not you know are you a prisoner in your own home run which we see a lot of and then you know we say how is that affecting your health. So many times. Triggered. Their health is affected even more so because they're collecting themselves so I've had. People come in who tell me that they're now taking blood pressure medications. And sleeping aids and all sorts of things that they didn't need before because. Their loved one that they are taking care of isn't sleeping at night there resisting care they're angry so that's really affecting their own health so. Or even none getting up and walking towards the door trying to leave and and it all kind of can revolve around safety at a certain absolutely don't want that person wandering out in the cold weather at night or the exchange eaten this summer has not safe for the other person neither is it because if there are off balance or their mobility is affected. That can be a real problem. Right are there stairs in the house. You know how big is their property or they're neighbors around who are trying to helping to look out and we hear stories after stories of people who you know get out at 2 in the morning because they're looking for their loved one who is deceased but there are waking up delusional inch so unfortunately a lot of times we're seeing people waiting for that crisis moment to half time so. I wish they wouldn't but they do and the no one ever really touchy subjects I think four spouses. Is they sometimes become. Just that caregiver and they'd lose themselves in the whole process you see that a lot don't you people expressing to you I don't feel like I have a light anymore I wanna be the spouse again to talk to about. Absolutely and we talked to them about the benefits. Of now we can help that dynamic shift back to where they can be the spouse or the adult child and not caregiver they can enjoy. Their time together and not worry about. Are they going to be resistant to meet taking into the bathroom or trying to give them their medications. You know let. The professional caregivers to carry that for easy to go back to. Being the person that is among them and I think for that espouses is just such a hard decision because. You've got your vows. That you want to honor. And till death do you part in christendom how promise that promises. You know I'm easier that a lot I promised my mom never put her in a home well that promise was invalidated when your mom was out 2 in the morning looking for her deceased husband mercy you know much that's not a promising you can cheat. And be able to sleep at night. Knowing that your mom a safe. Well absolutely and and when people make those promises. Number one they didn't know that places like W heights existed could absolutely take away that fear of the nursing home right now kind of thing. Yet chair has changed a lot in the last 1520 years on when I started about twenty years ago. You're average this is a living resident now was in a nursing home run so that type of care we can provide has changed tremendously and it. You know old nursing homes that may be our seniors remember that their parents or grandparents my advantage don't even exist anymore dress so it says its its educational opportunity for us to let people know that it can be a lot better than what date remember back in the old it's sure and I. Think what is things that I see a lot now with my clients is the financial peace and what's really scary is I don't think a lot of young people today are putting away money for long term care insurance. Aetna all of our parents did that our aunts and uncles our elders did that but we don't do that anymore and I don't think they understand. The price of care it's it's pretty hot eight. Yeah and and we talk to people about that sticker shock if this is your first time looking for community because AV either waiting for the crisis to happen or you're even looking for the future thinking well winning the crisis happens I want who went out there for her edit your starting your search it is sticker shock memory care is not cheap and there's certainly a lot of variance. Within the industry as. You know small Borden shares that might take five or six people all the way up through the larger communities. But what they offer him between you know there's a price of that so. Come for people who are prepared. They could be quite overwhelming. All right and when you're looking for a place you know because a couple months clients have come sit. Live in York community that unneeded. If you find the right place if you find a place eases person centered care like yours does their places that say they do and they don't they here's. Truly doesn't know what you know how much I appreciate that. Vs attacks centered care. And we'll explain that little bit further in the second segment of this but. They drive a long way it won't absolutely and we you know when we're talking about what are you looking for when you are ready and you know that it's time that's one of the things to consider. You know what are you willing to give up to find the best place for your love and is it a longer driving distance maybe a higher cost my depending on what those needs are because not only is their cognitive need that there might be diabetic management needs or other eye care needs on top. I. And you actually provide little assistance for people who were veterans as well right absolutely so those XML then vetting questions well asks when we're talking about budget and so. To make it an easier process and not every adult child knows what their parents' finances are but if you do upfront it's certainly can help the process of really knowing what you can afford but we will ask questions is there a long term care insurance policy in place is there. You know any veterans' assistance we can help try to discover based on the veteran status of. There's senior or their spouse. You know there's a lot of different resources out there. I'm that we can find it's just a matter of knowing what they would be eligible for and certainly known up front you know are there are multiple children involved that might be able to chicken something had they asked each other this question is is everybody on the same page when you got a lot of kids they have a lot of different opinions about what the best thing is for moms so who's a one really making that decision who's in charge and they have the support. For the rest of the family. Right. And but just before we go to break you also help with with. Some Schieffer veterans. Yes so there is a company out there she and veterans this program. It's they're becoming savvy to companies that are willing to move funds around me it looks like they can apply for the veterans assistance program in the VA is on to bash so there's a company that's doing the right way they have those support. Of the VA. And there is a she. For the process of applying for that benefit it's our company will actually offset that price and pay for all or any. I was moving into our communities because we know it's such a benefits. That a lot of people don't know about but. You know it's one that we know to make a difference between being able to live and in memory your community or not. Well absolutely each and what are the nice things I think about W heights to is that not only do you help with all of those items. Seeking to understand didn't mean you have to be detective questioned. That helps families when they just. Don't know what avenue to go down where to look. What's even available. Available to meet sometimes they don't even consider the fact that maybe if they're loved one is living in a home that they own if they sold that house so that could help to pay for the care and so on and so torso. Those are things that might tinker highly beneficial. And and I'm excited to talk to you about person's inner care we talked about that we just touched on it but what does that look like what does it mean. It's there's a big difference between tests entered him persons are new and we're gonna talk about that we come back after we'd listen to. One of the commercial all and thank you first guess was here today making a decision to place your loved one in the care of others is one of the most difficult decisions you'll ever have to make. If that Simmons specialist in your life and is meaning memory care W heights is the place to call home. Bellevue heights part of the JEA's senior living family is deeply committed to serving people living with alzheimer's and other related dimensions. Elliott fights believes that supporting families and caregivers is just as important as caring for our residents we offer free monthly support groups. Education and lecture series and presentations by experts in alzheimer's and dementia care. All of our programs are free and open to the public. Called Bellevue heights at 3036900700. To learn more about the high standard of individualized care. They can offer your loved one. And ask the matter current and upcoming education opportunities and support groups. Tell you how it's alzheimer's special care center is located at 14500. East Bellevue avenue in Aurora. Is it JEA's senior living dot com or call 3036900700. To schedule a tour come on to Stanley. Come home to Bellevue heights. Welcome to dementia resilience we chill arrest sponsored by building heights alzheimer's special care center. A candid conversation as we learn about dementia and alzheimer's and its effects on the people we love Jill has years of dedication and experience help you adapt to recover and overcome obstacles and help find a positive outcome it's time for dementia resilience with the Jill horrendous. Hey welcome back listeners we've got Nikki with us from W heights special. Alzheimer's special care center. But that's a mouthful. Mickey one of the things that. I think is important for people to understand about the finances let's just circle back to that first second chance. Some places will charge a dollar a minute to take somebody for a walk we learn that the other day and so how does building heights. Structure. Your feet right so our community. Specializes in dementia. Memory care and and realize there is such as alzheimer's were working with there's all sorts of different dimensions out there that we'll talk about but beyond. There are progressive you know these are people who are not going to get fatter so whether it's Urquhart. Maybe they do any more help but they're showers are getting dressed or Kotnik chair. So for us we just have one that's flat fee. Based on the type of room you pick but it's as they progressed there's no levels of care so people come in and they'll say well what are your levels of care well we don't do levels Aaron a lot of of communities that provide memory care actually going to that one flat fee type clothes. Service because we know we're dealing with people with progressive diseases they are going to decline so. At W writes we don't feel that. Family should be penalized for that we wanted to know upfront and be very transparent what this is the cost this is what we provide this is what we can do and you know go from there. Excellent yeah. So now let's explain to our listeners about person centered care verses task centered care yes so. Iowa first start with tacit and care. I mean no luck danced in the end of those places out there that that work this way they do it for a reason but. There are. There are communities that world's and tell their staffed you've got ten people you need to work with and those ten people have to be showered at this time this time in this time between 6 AM and 10 AM. And they have fifteen minutes to do it and the staff deals so mired down by time time time time time she. She and everything they do is based on a structured set so somebody wants to take a bath first is a shower somebody wants to come down to breakfast foreigner to jam as they can't do it. Is not allowed in that task centered places. So yours is not like that you rate person senator community please tell our listeners what makes you so good tee. And you know on those test center places that's when you start to seek your good is getting people up at five in the mornings and making it all their showers and before test how well I can tell you when I'm retired I am not getting up at 5 in the morning it's not our. You're not let me let you so person centered care is about not making people get up at 5 in the morning. Aren't you. But you know person centered care all starts with what information we and yet from the family about what is important to their loved one. So it's coming to breakfast in their Janice is important to them because that's how they've always done and that's in their routine and that's what we're going to honor and low it is. Somebody. Refers to have a glass of wine with dinner and we can get an order from the doctors to have that glass of wine at dinner that's what we're going to do. Great you know it's all about honoring their preferences there history. Their routines. You know we've talked to Joseph and I talked about the idiosyncrasies. Of knowing that I liked to have chapstick and a glass of water next in my. Bed when I go to bed at night right person's energy can't make sure that that happen Smyrna Leno making sure that the woman who always has to have Kleenex. Has your Kleenex box in her walker record every day to make sure that she doesn't feel anxious about where her Kleenex is finding us a little things that you. You think. Does that matter it does we're still working with people in the might not be able to communicate with us the way they used to. You're still themselves inside cells from remembers how we provide persons entertainer as we get a life stories all of our residents we want to know everything from the time they were born where they were born what kind of family life they had growing up where they go to school what kind of military service and they have their careers. The kind of music -- choice did they have pets are they fearful of pets right you know all the things that it has shaped us Jill and I. You know there's a lot of similarities we. Love to work with people with dementia but we have a lot of debt is at our allies still trying to she likes water buyer and so we can get rid. Back. The things that make us different our way is going to matter in the kinda share that we prefer. So you know having somebody either. Breakfast in their agendas that's not a big deal hating somebody. You know sleep until ten because they were never a morning person. But they will get up and maybe haven't. Bowl of cereal and some toast and coffee at 10:30 in the morning that's okay right you know we wanna make sure that they still feel like it. The people that they are even if they can't express that to us so that's why so important for families to notice these things and ask these questions. While you still can because those are the things you want to make sure honor treat yourself. Lineup for your loved ones. Well and even when somebody moves in on the first day if you know that they need. That gasoline they need that glass of water it might make that transition. So much easier because it feels the same can certainly tell how. You have views may be somebody's occupation oh yes Jesus that I'm. Oh. We have a gentleman who is a former postal carrier in Chicago he was actually president Obama's first. Twenty years and so we bought some mailboxes and we are decorating them and we are putting them around me unity and we're asking people feeling members to bring in their junk mail and he can help deliver that mail all knowing what other fun residency rule we're going in and out of their house twenty times a day before the new day and investigate and mail well guess what they did today. What I. So you know all these different we have a woman who is retired episcopal priest. We know her favorite songs her favorite hymns and her favorite church signs of she's feeling anxious. A word. You know just needs a boost we can start singing Jesus loves me and sourcing right along with us meringue you know so knowing these little things your favorite songs or favorite music. They left Tom Jones Tom Jones on and you. Credit ladies are evident this time but you know at the little things you know we've got residents. Eight aging. Our ranging in age from 56 to 99 right now so you got a forty year age range of people who have different musical taste different life stories different life experience. So we need to honor. A lot of difference. Things with our residents and knowing those life stories we can do that. All right so tell me what makes JEA so special. Well for me personally don't you bites ya paired right. So. I didn't in senior health care for twenty years by far this is the best company upper four in regard to. It's a company that understands. Dementia dementia care are building is purposely built for memory care. It's you know there's a lot of benefit. I will say to you know communities that have assisted living with you know separate dementia care unit that's for us in this is community actually the first one I ever worked for that was just memory care and I have to say attention to detail the attention to the training that we get her and our staffs in the training we can provide to the general public. By bringing you external resources like Jill and other professional speakers. You know we want to make sure people are educated whether they have a little bonus -- -- -- not. And there's a lot of benefits to us to be a leader in dementia care in making sure that anybody can come to our support groups are educational series. And get that information because in the long run it's you know we're out there to help people with dementia whether they let us right. Well one of the things I love about your purposefully built community issue wide hallways sure glass that so everybody can see where they are. And having your your of beauty salon up towards affront having each sheet lamps when people get in the shower worst. And having these monitors so when they get out of bed that. The nursing staff knows and guns they can come down and check on them just mission digging back in bed without having to go home wake him up 10 times. An evening in and that can be really uncomfortable for take ago little break and listen to another word about bill do you hide alzheimer's special care senator Nikki I'm so excited you're here today thanks a lot believe back in just a minute okay. Making the decision to place your loved one in the care of others is one of the most difficult decisions you'll ever have to make if that's someone special is in your life and his needing memory care. Bellevue heights is the place to call home. Bellevue heights part of the GA's senior living Stanley is deeply committed to serving people living with alzheimer's and other related dimensions. Living with purpose and meaning is the best reward at Bellevue heights alzheimer's special care center. Your loved one will live life to its fullest licensed nurses aren't step 24 hours a day. Compassionate caregivers three well balanced meals and three healthy snacks are a few key elements of the G-8 eat age difference. We also offer fully furnished private and semi private groups and meaningful activities and scheduled outings. Called Bellevue heights at 3036900700. To learn more about the high standard of individualized care they can offer your love when. Bellevue heights alzheimer's special care center. Is located at 14 or 500. East Bellevue avenue in Aurora visit JEA senior living dot com. Or call 3036900700. To schedule a tour. Come come to Stanley come home to Bellevue types. Welcome to dementia resilience we chill arrest sponsored by building heights alzheimer's special care center. A candid conversation as we learn about dementia or alzheimer's and it's effects on the people we love. Jill has years of dedication and experience help you adapt to recover and overcome obstacles and help find a positive outcome it's time for dementia resilience with the Jill our friends. That welcome back so Nicky we're talking about when you choose a pure community. OK so. You know I I've joked a couple times that I need to have part of my eight. Services. You found a place now what. Absolutely is so. It doesn't end just because he's found a place now you know it's not just transition for your loved one who's moving. The community transition for the whole thing for everybody involved in that. And that person. Yes so. What needs to happen with a great you know so we talked about that. How we make the transition smooth elegant the more we know about that person the more we can support them on their first day. Making sure they've got their chest making sure we're getting them right into an activity that is meaningful for that she's having the Stanley Steve for lunch we say in. Try to bring women in the morning if you get somebody whose son downs that's not a good time today to bring them 3:4 o'clock in the afternoon brain you know so we wanna make sure it's the smooth as possible to talk about. You know what reason do you give that person for moving in. You know and and we get questioned a lot more what do I tell them how to I tell them. To get out of the car and come into your building perhaps you know so you know it again depends on the situation. So one of jewels clients actually just moved and we talked about you know this woman has blood pressure medication she takes in she's acutely aware of her blood pressure issues so you know. Say. You know the doctor feels we really need to monitor that we happen to have nurses that are building 24 sevenths overseeing medication management treatment so that made sense too harsh and I think for a lot of folks a certain generation that feels like lying. Well what we have to realize that dementia it's it's a reality shift. The personally dementia has a much different perception of reality in you an idea has so whatever's gonna make sense that person in their reality is not lying next making sense to them from that woman it made sense I heard that yes her blood pressure medications needed to be monitored by a nurse. So that transition went much much smoother than it. Mom you've got dementia and you have to stay here I can't take your remark that doesn't work all right so how about moving us. Part of their house into your community. Right. Anyone ever is gonna works you know and it stressed out so we certainly we could provide furniture at no cost as we know that you know people may waiting for the crisis moment they don't have time and his schedule movers and things and but you know some people it is important to have their furniture in the things around the net a detail of her that is meaningful for that and so is as comfortable as he can make their room with things that are familiar that they. Little identified west as wanted it. And how about coming to visit. Yes always. What do I do now that twinge in which we that I where I had had always the first press box and I stairways someplace just tell me I should stay away a months someplace Stacy doesn't. You know stay away couple weeks and why so I didn't case by case and first keep your own emotions in check because if you know you're gonna visit and your gonna be a big blundering mess. That's probably not going to be good for Iran and there so if you just know that you can not keep your emotions in check when you come to visit. And maybe you need to stay away and try to figure out this transition and again and we talked about the transitions not just for the personal dimension it's the person still at all you know your spouse you've got a big house now see yourself. What set looks like T now. Who is in your support system do you have children neighbors church members people that you can rely on great information to people you don't want to rely on the people saying wow why did you move your wife so soon she seems finds a mean right that's not helpful. Step person but what you find is an. Do you ever you know and they're gonna pester you and they're gonna say come to lunch at me let them take you don't ones do not isolate yourself because then you're just going to be. You know in your own head you need to to find things are going to be meaningful for you that bring you purpose that maybe you haven't been able to do for awhile because you've been the primary caregiver for a so you have a new role now you're still all in your loved one you haven't just you know wash your hands of the situation you're still an integral part of the teams hadn't heard your loved one true but that role is different now now you're back. To being. The spouse or the adult child right or whatever that looks like but. You know coming. Every day. If that works for you great if it means coming once or twice a week. That's great too if you need space and nick it's gonna teach you two weeks Sig. To do it yourself and placing your head in your heart to where you feel you can accomplish and be the best possible person you can be thing you do that to the ground but it's all about taking care stall yourself spiritually mentally physically. So that you know if you're the husband you're the best husband you can be because you take care of yourself terror. And have an exit plan perhaps so you can you can sit down and talk to him about that exit plan. So that every time they come and go it's easier so Nikki you've done something you're a community that. A lot of people shied away from and that's. Embracing other dementia is. And something near and dear to my heart because my brother has set TD frontal temporal disease which is behavioral or it's more motor skill ports of Asian not finding the words and word salad becomes an issue. You have embraced having people like at your community it's difficult because they're usually between the ages of 44 and 6420 years too young. Yes and we do like a similar we have our youngest president there is 56 right now and. I'm we dealt with it's it's not just alzheimer's we've had parkinson's bastion learned Louis body frontal temporal dementia. So's it's case by case we certainly want to make sure that our residents can resides safely and they're not and an endangerment to other residents but we look at again those like stories for interventions you know a big part of what we do it is about not over using psychic tropics so that life story is gonna tell us somebody can be redirected or we can try to redirect knowing that they love ice cream they loved to garden -- let's chairing a baby doll. Whatever that might look like to hopes to bring peace and comfort to somebody before we would rely on psychotropic medication so what's frontal lobe dementia. You know again case by case if we know that person can resides safely in our community and we can meet their needs and we've got strategies to redirect absolutely we wanted to give our best shot to try and we have a couple now. Residents who are doing beautifully in our community because. Again those life stories that help us so much and I'm writing. You know whole person care share. And numb I do know that you have some younger onset people I think people in general think that. Secure communities have only eighty plus year olds and you have embraced that you've got several people under the age of 75. This week I always do but tip of the day and this next week actually at ability heights I'm gonna try some music therapy with your folks and some light took a day is the use. Not only that person's life story for engagement comes in good activities. But music is a wonderful medium to get that person to communicate with you so thank you for letting me try this sun apps I'd say you're resident's and what are things you say would I loved by the way is that your staff our guests in their home I dig that. Boss and and so anyway with music therapy you wanna try it at home put your loved ones favor it. Out of a person with. With alzheimer's and different types of dementia even when they're in late stage now our next guest on the show is going to be actually a person that was just diagnosed in December. I won I applaud her curry to us for coming on our show and and talking to us about what it's like to have that diagnosis. Man how hard it is mentally emotionally physically to move out of her home into her daughter's home and I think it's going to be a really good show it's not gonna be a light show folks because I don't want her to have any trip to station about talking but. I'm super excited to have a person with younger onset though this woman is 65. And I hope everybody listens learns a little bit of some and maybe help you recognize it and maybe a family member of your. Own the Nicky it's been great having you on the show thank you for being our sponsor. W heights isn't awesome community and I love what you're doing there and I look forward to having you on again sometime we can tackles and so this. Some really specific issues absolutely nothing to do what everybody have a great day. You've been listening to dementia resilience would still horrendous sponsored by value priced alzheimer's special care center. Visit her website at summit resilience training dot com to learn more. And join us next week as we learn more about dementia alzheimer's and overcoming obstacles for the positive outcome to see you next time.